It could have been a short Zoom call on a Tuesday morning with an HR person you don’t know. It could have been a “quick chat” with your boss that turned into “Being Fired”. You might have seen it coming, or you might have been completely surprised.
No matter how it happened, the end result is the same: you are now standing on the sidewalk (metaphorically or literally) with a cardboard box of your things and no access to Slack.
Being Fired is like getting hit in the gut. Money isn’t the only thing. It’s an attack on your safety, your identity, and your ego. It feels worse than a breakup because you have to explain to a future landlord why you’re single.
I’m not going to give you the corporate “this is a new beginning” speech. That doesn’t help when you’re worried about paying your rent.
This is a simple, step-by-step guide on how to get through the next 30 days without going crazy.
Phase 1: First 72 Hours Do Nothing
Your first thought will be to panic-apply. You might want to hurry home, open your laptop, and send your resume to 50 companies to show that you are still useful.
Stop.
Don’t look for a job for 72 hours after you get fired. You are angry, emotional, and in a lot of pain. Recruiters can smell desperation from a mile away. Today, your cover letter will sound bitter.
For the first three days, all you have to do is mourn. Yes, mourn. Getting fired is a traumatic experience.
- Get some sleep.
- Get the greasy food.
- Watch a show you’ve seen ten times in a row.
- Run in a rage.
Let your anger out. If you keep it inside, it will come out in your next interview, and that will ruin your chances. You can’t sell yourself again until you get rid of the bitterness.
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Phase 2: Why
You have to face the truth once the shock wears off. What did you do to get fired?
Even if it hurts, be honest with yourself when you look in the mirror.
- Was it the performance? Did you really drop the ball? (If so, own it. Learn from it. Don’t do it again.
- Was it the culture? Did you just have a fight with a bad boss?
- Was it “Restructuring”? (This is the simplest one. It wasn’t you; it was the math.
Now you need to write the story. You are in charge of the story. You don’t say, “They kicked me out because I argued with my boss,” when you talk to people. You say, “We decided to go our separate ways to find a better fit because my values and the company’s new direction weren’t the same anymore.”
It’s not a lie. It’s public relations. You are now in charge of your own PR.
Phase 3: Secure the Bag
You need to make sure your exit before you leave the building (or the email chain).
1. Unemployment Insurance: Apply for unemployment insurance right away. For example, today. This is nothing to be ashamed of. You paid for this with your taxes. It’s your money. The system is slow, so the sooner you file, the sooner the checks will start.
2. The Severance Negotiation: Most people just sign the paper. Don’t do it. If they offer you four weeks of severance, ask for eight.
- “Because I’ve been here for a while and this change came out of the blue, I would like 8 weeks of severance to help me get through it.” They say no is the worst thing that can happen. But a lot of the time, HR just wants you to go away quietly, and giving you an extra month of pay is cheaper than a lawsuit.
3. References: This is hard. Can you ask your boss to give you a reference? If you were fired for “performance,” probably not. But you can ask a friend. Find the coworker you got along with the best. “Can I put you down as a reference?” I’d be grateful if you could speak up for my skills in X and Y. Most of the time, future employers just want to talk to someone who worked with you. The person who fired you doesn’t always have to be the manager.
Phase 4: “Why Did You Leave?” Question
This is the scary thing under the bed. You are scared of the next interview because you know they will ask, “Why did you leave your last job?”
If you lie and get caught, you will die. You look risky if you say, “I got fired.”
The script is as follows: “My last job taught me a lot, but in the end, the job changed into something else than what I was hired for.” We both agreed that my skills in [Skill A] would be better used somewhere else, which is why I’m so excited about this job because it focuses a lot on [Skill A].
Notice the pivot?
- Briefly talk about the past.
- Don’t talk bad about your old boss.
- Right away, turn to the future and explain why you are a good fit for this job.
What if it was a layoff? Even simpler. “The company changed its structure, which affected my job and 15% of the staff.” That’s all there is to it.
Phase 5: Rebound Rebuilding Confidence
Not having a job is hard, but not having money is the hardest part. It’s the lack of trust. You feel like an outcast. You think everyone knows. (Spoiler: They don’t. And no one else cares as much as you do.
You need to win quickly.
- Complete a small freelance job.
- Help a friend with a work-related task.
- Take a course to get certified.
You need to tell your brain that you are good at what you do. The opinion of one company is not the opinion of the market. I have seen bad workers get promoted and great workers get fired because the boss was scared. Job opportunities are subjective.
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Phase 6: Network Activation
When you’re out of work, it’s sad to send resumes into the “Apply Now” void. The emails saying you weren’t hired hurt more.
You need to go ahead of the line. Get in touch with your “weak ties,” like old coworkers, classmates, or people you met at a conference three years ago.
The message says, “Hey [Name], I hope you’re doing well.” I’m leaving [Company] and looking for my next job in [Industry]. Let me know if you hear of anyone looking for a [Your Role]. “Next week, coffee is on me.”
Don’t worry about it. You are “transitioning,” not begging. It sounds like something is happening, not like something is happening.
Final Thoughts
Getting fired hurts. You might be a little more paranoid for the next few years. You might be able to save a little more money. You might not have as much faith in HR.
Okay. That scar is like armour. People who have never been let go are often too comfortable. They think the business cares about them. People who have been fired know that business is business.
You will make it through this. In five years, you’ll just tell a funny story about “that crazy boss I had” over drinks. Get up, shake off your pants, and go look for a place that really needs you.
FAQs
Q: Is it okay to just say I quit? Who will know?
A: You can try, but it’s a time bomb. Background checks usually only check job titles and dates of employment, but people talk. If your new boss knows your old boss (which they always do in niche fields), you’re done. It’s better to use a “soft” truth, like “mutual separation,” to control the story than to tell a hard lie that gets you fired again later.
Q: Should I write a rant on LinkedIn to let other people know about the bad culture?
A: No way. I know you want to get back at them. I know it would feel good for five minutes. But to a potential employer, you don’t look like a whistleblower; you look like a risk. They will wonder, “Will this person trash me online when they leave if I hire them?” Talk to your friends about your problems over drinks. Make sure your LinkedIn is clean.
Q: I was let go for “misconduct” or something else serious. How do I say that?
A: This is the hardest one. Don’t share too much. You don’t have to give them a legal deposition. Be vague: “There was a policy violation about [General Topic], and I learned a hard lesson about paying attention to the little things.” Right away, turn to what you’ve done to fix it. If it was really bad, you might need to work with smaller companies or do contract work to rebuild trust first.
Q: My boss said I don’t know what I’m doing. What if they’re right?
A: No, they aren’t. They are just one person. You might have been bad at that job in that setting. That doesn’t mean you’re bad at your job. Einstein would have made a terrible waiter. You just need to find a room where your brain is helpful, not a problem. Don’t let what one person thinks of you define who you are.
Q: Do I really have to apply for unemployment? I feel like I’m failing when I do it.
A: Stop that. It’s not a gift; it’s insurance. Every time you got a paycheck, you put money into this system. Your money is literally sitting there. Would you feel “guilty” if you called the insurance company after your house burned down? No. Send in the claim. Buy food with the money so you can focus on getting a job without going hungry.
